Dust Will be the Serpent's Food
by PepperjackCandy
Summary: Snape, Black and Lupin look back at the events of that night in the Shrieking Shack. SS/RL/SB Slash (**triangle**, not threesome)
1. Severus Snape

Dust Will Be the Serpent's Food - Part 1, Severus Snape  
By: PepperjackCandy  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: Everyone, and everything, in this story, belongs to J.K. Rowling.  
  
A/N: I can't help myself. I was plundering the Bible for chapter titles again, and got stuck on [Isaiah 65:25][1]. I started with searching for the word "wolf," but when I saw "lion" (Gryffindor) and "serpent" (Slytherin) in this verse, I just *had* to use it.  
  
This takes place in the summer following GoF.  
  
==========  
  
"Sev."  
  
Kiss.  
  
"Sev."  
  
Kiss.  
  
"Severus." Remus grabbed my shoulders, pushing me gently yet forcefully away from his body.  
  
"What?" I whined.   
  
"It's getting late. I have to go." Remus dodged my lips.  
  
"Why do you have to go so early? It's not even dark yet."  
  
I saw Remus's face fall. "I can't tell you. Not yet."  
  
"Is it a secret? I can keep a secret, you know." I insisted, wishing I could tell Remus some of the dark things I hid in my own soul.  
  
"I'm sure you can, Sev. But trust me, you're just not ready for this one."  
  
I was determined to keep my chin up. "All right. But can I have one more kiss before you go?"  
  
Remus grinned. "I think I can manage that."  
  
Remus and I leaned towards each other, our lips touching gently at first, then with more insistence, as the sky continued to grow dark.  
  
Finally, Remus pulled himself away. "I've *got* to *go*" he whispered.   
  
I sighed. "All right. Go." I gazed into Remus's warm brown eyes and weakened. "But I'll expect," kiss, "you," kiss, "to make it up to me later."  
  
Remus grinned. "I will. Tomorrow."  
  
"First thing?"  
  
"Second thing. Right after breakfast. The usual place."  
  
I felt like I was walking on clouds as I returned to the castle. I was so euphoric I nearly ran straight into Sirius Black, who was glowering at me darkly.   
  
"Snape." Sirius said shortly.   
  
"Black." I returned, feeling the corners of my lips turn up slightly.  
  
"What's with you?" Sirius demanded, grabbing my arm roughly.   
  
"I don't know what you're talking about." I said, hoping my robes weren't in too much disarray from my snog with Remus.  
  
"You're . . . smirking at me."  
  
"I'm not smirking at you." I assured him haughtily. "I may be smirking, but it's most assuredly not at you."  
  
Feeling pretty good about myself, I walked away, not realizing just exactly how far Sirius Black would go in his hatred of me.  
  
The next day, Remus didn't show up for breakfast. I worried, but not overly so. Remus had a tendency to get up early to study and lose track of time. I left my breakfast untouched and headed for the library.   
  
I searched the library twice, but Remus wasn't there.   
  
I hoped he was in Gryffindor tower, but had the awful, bone-chilling feeling he wasn't. Instead, I headed where instinct took me. The hospital wing.  
  
The nurse who greeted me at the door was a recent Hogwarts graduate, in her first year out of school. Poppy Pomfrey. She was so young that most of the students called her by her Christian name. After all, most of us had been her schoolmates, once.  
  
"Poppy." I said desperately. "Do you know where Remus Lupin is?"  
  
"Yes. He's up in his room." I would have breathed a sigh of relief, had she not said the next sentence out of her mouth. "He's been excused from classes today. And probably tomorrow, as well."  
  
I felt the bottom drop out of my stomach, but tried to keep my face from showing it. "I see. Thank you, Poppy."  
  
My heart was in a turmoil as I headed back toward Slytherin tower, where I ran into Lucius Malfoy. "Snape." He said with false pleasantness. "It's time for class. Don't you have your books?"   
  
It always set my teeth on edge when Malfoy called me by my surname. I've always wondered if Crabbe and Goyle feel the same when Draco Malfoy do the same to them.   
  
"I'm just coming back from breakfast." I could see that he knew that I was lying, but I would never admit where I really was, checking on Remus. Not until Remus gave me permission to take that step.  
  
"Well? Hurry up then. Or we'll be late." I hurried as quickly as I could without running and grabbed my textbooks and assignments. Soon, I returned to Lucius's side, and together we went to Charms class.  
  
The whole day passed in a haze. _He tells me that he's hiding something from me, then that he'll see me in the morning. The next morning, he's too ill to go to classes. What's wrong with him?_ I pondered over and over.  
  
After dinner that night, I ran into Black again. "Good evening, Snape."  
  
I couldn't bring myself to wish him the same. Even mouthing the words as a pleasantry would be a lie, as long as I didn't know where Remus was. "Black." I responded coldly.  
  
"It's my understanding that you and Remus have been spending time together." Black said.  
  
I hunched my shoulders defensively, not to protect myself, but to protect Remus. "He's been helping me with my homework."  
  
"Is that what they're calling it these days?" Black gave a humorless laugh. "Well, if you want to know where Remus is, go to the Whomping Willow tonight. After the moon rises."  
  
"The Whomping Willow." I gave him a disbelieving look.  
  
"Trust me on this. Take along a long stick. There's a knot, about six inches from the ground. Press the knot in and wait. The Willow will settle down then, for a few minutes, and you can get past it. Nestled in the roots is a tunnel. Follow the tunnel. Remus will be waiting for you." He said with a cold smile.  
  
"Like I'm going to trust you."  
  
"Fine. Don't trust me. But if you want to continue your . . . homework . . . with Remus, you'll show up." He left then, the unspoken threat that Remus would stop meeting me dangling in the air between us.  
  
I knew I couldn't trust anything that Black said, but I also knew that I couldn't afford to take the chance. Remus was worth anything -- everything -- to me. So I went.  
  
I complied with Black's instructions, following the tunnel. It seemed like miles. Then it suddenly widened, and I realized I was in the cellar of a building.   
  
I've always had good night vision and I found the steps leading up into the building easily. I took the first step. "Remus?" I called out. "Are you here?"  
  
I was expecting to be the butt of some joke. Undoubtedly Black and Potter up to something. Possibly they'd alerted Albus to my presence and I'd be punished for curfew violation.   
  
What I got wasn't anything like I expected.   
  
I reached the top of the stairs and saw a form, bathed in the light of the full moon outside, sitting below the window. "Remus?" I called out.  
  
The figure snarled and leaped towards me, just as I felt arms behind me tugging me backwards.   
  
"Snape!" I heard James Potter's voice. "Go!" He hurled me towards the stairs back towards the cellar.   
  
I stood, frozen, as I recognized the figure. It was a werewolf.   
  
"Run!" Potter yelled. "I can handle him! Save yourself!"  
  
I didn't even think about it. I ran.  
  
The next thing I knew, I was in Albus's office. I'm not even sure how I got there. And I was pouring out my heart to him.  
  
"It was Sirius Black. He was jealous, of . . . of me and Remus . . . and so he lured me to, I'm not sure where I was, a house somewhere, and set a monster on me. If Potter hadn't come along, I'm sure I would have been killed."  
  
"A monster?" Albus seemed slightly amused.  
  
"Yes, sir. A werewolf."  
  
In retrospect, I think for some reason, Albus wanted me to know. Or felt that it was inevitable that I'd find out. Because his mask slipped for a moment, and I saw his discomfort as he repeated. "A werewolf?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
The next time I saw Black was when I was on my way back to the Slytherin tower from Albus's office.   
  
"Snape." He snarled.  
  
"Black." I snapped back. "You're going to get expelled for that little stunt."  
  
He shook his head shortly and snorted. "Dumbledore wouldn't do that."  
  
"Why not? Is my life worth less than yours?"  
  
"Probably not. But Remus's life is worth three of yours. And Dumbledore would never do anything to risk Remus's safety."  
  
It was then I put two and two together. Of course, I got something in the vicinity of 3.75, but it was close enough. "That monster? Was Remus?" I asked, stunned.   
  
"Who'd you think it was? Father Christmas?" Black chuckled mirthlessly.  
  
Just then, Potter and Remus stumbled through, looking the worse for wear. Oh, to be able to take back my next words! "You . . . monster!" I snarled at the boy I loved. "How many innocents have you killed, with your friends," I threw a glance full of loathing at Black and Potter, "procuring fresh meat for you?"  
  
Remus looked at me, his lower lip trembling. "What? Sev? What happened last night?"  
  
"Like you don't know. Monster." I enunciated clearly.  
  
Ignoring the pain in Remus's eyes, I turned and walked away.  
  
I heard him cry my name behind me. "**SEVERUS!!**"  
  
But I never looked back.  
  
Until now. Now everything has been turned upside down. The Dark Lord is back, and so is the Mark on my arm.   
  
So is Remus.   
  
He's upstairs, eating breakfast with Albus. And Black's around here, too, somewhere. Black and I have agreed to put aside our differences for now, but I doubt we'll ever be friends.  
  
When Black was sent to Azkaban for betraying the Potters, I hoped desperately, foolishly, that he'd betrayed Remus, too, that night. But then Remus returned, and Black returned, and they tried to make me believe that Black hadn't betrayed the Potters at all.   
  
So, where does that leave us?   
  
Did Black betray Remus?  
  
Or was I right the first time?   
  
Did Remus and Black set me up to be killed together?  
  
I have no appetite, but I haven't eaten in days, not since Remus came back. So I steel myself and head up to breakfast, hoping I'm not making the biggest mistake of my life.   
  
==========  
  
Next: Sirius Black

   [1]: http://bible.gospelcom.net/cgi-bin/bible?passage=ISA+65:25&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=off



	2. Sirius Black

Dust Will be the Serpent's Food, Chapter, 2 - Sirius Black   
By: PepperjackCandy  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: Everyone, and everything, in this story, belongs to J.K. Rowling.   
  
==========  
  
I didn't mean for Snape to die, of course. Not that I would have minded if he had died. But it really wasn't my intention.  
  
Frankly, I was so jealous I wasn't thinking straight.  
  
I knew that I loved Moony from the moment we met in the crush of students leaving after the beginning of year banquet. We'd both been Sorted into Gryffindor, but had ended up at opposite ends of the table.   
  
If he had been less reserved than he was, we wouldn't have met until the Gryffindor first year boys' dorm. But I still would have loved him then.  
  
Where was I?   
  
Oh yes. The after-banquet crush. Well, there he was. For every step he took forward, two people would squeeze in front of him. In other words, he wasn't making much progress.  
  
I came up behind him and placed my hands gently on his shoulders. "It works like this." I whispered directly into his ear. Then I raised my voice.   
  
"Excuse me."  
  
"Pardon me."   
  
"Pardon me."   
  
"Excuse me."  
  
"Pardon me."  
  
Soon, we were out of the Great Hall and in the corridor headed towards the Gryffindor Tower.   
  
"You Gryffindor?" I asked.  
  
He nodded. "Yes. You?" He responded quietly.  
  
I nodded and we walked together to the Gryffindor first year boys' dorm.  
  
From that moment, we were inseparable. I knew it was just a matter of time until Moony loved me back.  
  
Until fifth year, and Severus Snape.  
  
It all started when we had to write our midterm projects for Potions. Remus had chosen a topic beyond his range of experience, and Professor Erlenmeyer suggested he seek tutoring from the best student in class. Severus Snape.  
  
I accepted that. It made sense. And Remus was only using him to help his grades.  
  
Then his project was finished. And they continued meeting.  
  
Oh, this time it was to save Snape's Defense Against the Dark Arts grade. That also made sense. Remus was the best Defense Against the Dark Arts student in our year.  
  
But that didn't explain why, sometimes, Remus would come back from their study sessions with lips red and swollen, like he'd been kissing someone.  
  
So I followed him. I had to. To protect him.  
  
And, just as Remus had always insisted, they were meeting in the library. Completely innocently. I almost went back to our room. Almost.  
  
As I turned to leave, they stood. Leaving their books on the table, they walked, hands so close as to almost be touching, out to the greenhouses. I stood there, consumed with jealousy, as Snape pulled Remus - my Remus! - to him, kissing his lips, his neck, his eyes, running his long, delicate fingers through Remus's curly brown hair.   
  
And Remus enjoyed it! It wasn't some odd payment for his help on the Potions project. When I stepped on a twig, snapping it audibly, Snape lifted his head from Remus's, making Remus moan low in protest.   
  
Snape didn't take much persuasion. He bent back to his task willingly.   
  
Damn him.  
  
I continued following them. I don't know why. Someone had to witness their trysts. To be able to give testimony that Snape had some kind of unearthly control over Remus.   
  
And I only got caught once. The night before the full moon. The night before 'it' happened. Snape walked right into me. And then he smirked at me. Like he'd been in the cream and wanted me to know just how good it was.  
  
I knew that Moony would never share his deepest secret with Snape. Not after only a few weeks of meeting in secret to snog. I knew that Snape didn't have any idea that Remus Lupin was a werewolf.  
  
And it was time that Snape found out what he'd be getting into, loving Remus.   
  
Usually, the night before the full moon was uneventful. Remus would come home early, take a sleeping draught, and then the next day, everything would be fine.  
  
But not this night. He took the sleeping draught, but instead of it rendering him completely inanimate for the whole of the night, it seemed to somehow allow the wolf to come out early. Remus paced the room, trying to force the door open.   
  
It didn't work, of course. As we'd taken to doing since we'd begun our work on the animagus charm, we'd locked the door with a charm that was resistant to _alohomora_ and most other door-unlocking charms.   
  
When he couldn't get out the door, he began to claw at the windows. But they were charmed, too, and he couldn't get the windows open either.   
  
That's when he started clawing at himself. It was rather like the wolf who chews his own leg off to get out of a leghold trap, we supposed when we discussed it later. James and I changed, but we still lacked the ability to stop him. The moon did that for us when it set that night.  
  
We didn't know what this behavior meant. Neither did Poppy Pomfrey, or even Professor Dumbledore, when we asked them. That we found out later, and by then, it was too late.  
  
Remus had been unconscious all day, resting up from his restless night, and healing from his self-inflicted wounds.   
  
I cornered Snape after dinner. "Good evening, Snape."  
  
He responded, simply. "Black."  
  
"It's my understanding that you and Remus have been spending time together."  
  
"He's been helping me with my homework." And Snape's body language simply screamed discomfort with this. Like he was humiliated. I was incensed. To snog my best friend in secret and then to be embarrassed when he's called on it?   
  
It firmed my resolve to drive him away. To save Remus from him. "Is that what they're calling it these days?" I responded. "Well, if you want to know where Remus is, go to the Whomping Willow tonight. After the moon rises."  
  
I could tell he didn't believe me. "The Whomping Willow."  
  
"Trust me on this. Take along a long stick. There's a knot, about six inches from the ground. Press the knot in and wait. The Willow will settle down then, for a few minutes, and you can get past it. Nestled in the roots is a tunnel. Follow the tunnel. Remus will be waiting for you."   
  
"Like I'm going to trust you."  
  
"Fine. Don't trust me. But if you want to continue your . . . homework . . . with Remus, you'll show up."  
  
He took the bait.  
  
Damn me.  
  
Feeling pretty good about myself, I returned to the Gryffindor tower.  
  
"You look like you got into the cream." James said, echoing my own thoughts about Snape the previous night.   
  
"Yes. Well, I am feeling pretty good about myself, truthfully."  
  
"Oh? A new girl in your life?"  
  
"No. A new boy. Or the same one, only . . . . "  
  
I was so cocky, so sure of myself. God, I was a prat.   
  
"Oh?" James sat forward, then he finally read it in my eyes. "Oh. Oh! You mean Remus?"  
  
I nodded. "He'll be mine before morning. We'll be together. Just like we were meant to be."  
  
"What have you done?" James demanded.   
  
"I've eliminated the competition."  
  
"Competition? What competition?"  
  
"Severus Snape." I snarled the words.   
  
"What?"  
  
"They've been sneaking around together. And I just arranged for Snape to find out the truth. About what Moony is. In fact," I looked outside at the rising moon, "he should be finding out. Any. Minute. Now."  
  
"You fool!" James yelled as he leapt to his feet. "He could be killed!"  
  
Before I could respond, James was out the door and headed for the portrait hole. I followed in his wake, trying to figure out why it mattered that Snape could be killed.  
  
James was always faster on his feet than I was, and by the time I got outside, he was to the Whomping Willow and headed for the tunnel. I hung back and waited. Soon, a desperate, terrified, Snape emerged from the tunnel. He ran right past me and down the corridor. I didn't want to know where he was going. I didn't care. I just knew that Moony hadn't killed him, and that was enough for me.  
  
Several hours later, after the moon had set, Snape came back through the corridor. This time he saw me. He walked right up to me.  
  
"Snape." I said in a perfectly reasonable tone.  
  
"Black." He threatened. "You're going to get expelled for that little stunt."  
  
"Dumbledore wouldn't do that."  
  
"Why not? Is my life worth less than yours?"  
  
"Probably not. But Remus's life is worth three of yours. And Dumbledore would never do anything to risk Remus's safety."  
  
He was actually still surprised. He hadn't figured it out. "That monster? Was Remus?"   
  
"Who'd you think it was? Father Christmas?"   
  
Remus and James returned then. James was supporting Remus's weight. Snape's response surprised all three of us. "You . . . monster!" He yelled. "How many innocents have you killed, with your friends procuring fresh meat for you?"  
  
Remus looked like he was going to cry. I hated to see him in pain, but part of me was glad that he finally saw Snape for what he was. "What? Sev? What happened last night?"  
  
"Like you don't know. Monster." With that, he walked away.   
  
"*SEVERUS!!*" Remus yelled as he crumpled to the floor in agony. He lay there, fetal, sobbing brokenly.   
  
And then I wondered if what I'd done had been the right thing at all.  
  
Dumbledore came down then, and directed James to take Remus to the hospital wing. Remus was still crying, and James finally had to pick him up and carry him, bodily, to the hospital wing.  
  
Dumbledore called me up to his office. Where I told him the whole story. Every sordid detail.  
  
Once I'd finished, he looked at me in that kind, understanding way that makes students want to crawl under their chair and said, "Do you understand the gravity of what you've done tonight?"  
  
I burst into tears. "What are you going to do? Send me to Azkaban? I deserve it, you know I tried to turn my best friend into a murderer."  
  
Dumbledore shook his head slowly. "Something tells me that you'll do an adequate job of punishing yourself for this. However, because of your foolhardy actions, you will forfeit five hundred points from Gryffindor, effectively ruining Gryffindor's chances of the house cup for the year."  
  
"That's it?" I asked, astonished.  
  
"I should think that would be enough. No official word will be said about what you did to forfeit the points. It will be up to your discretion, and the discretion of Mr. Potter, Mr. Lupin, and Mr. Snape, what to tell the other students."  
  
I left the room, feeling vaguely like I should quit school and join one of those monastic orders where they beat themselves with whips.   
  
Eventually, James forgave me. And, even later, Remus forgave me as well.  
  
As for Snape?   
  
He'd always been a hanger-on of Lucius Malfoy. After this, he became one of Malfoy's inner circle. I knew that Snape had become a Death Eater, but had blamed it on Snape just being . . . bad. Now, I wonder.   
  
Could it be my fault?   
  
Might Remus's love have saved him from that fate?   
  
Dumbledore forced a truce between us just a few weeks ago, and I haven't seen much of him since. Especially in the last few days, when Remus arrived. Since then, Snape's been holed up in his dungeon.   
  
Except this morning. He came into the Great Hall during breakfast, picked up a handful of cheese and fruit and left.   
  
And when Remus followed him out of the room, I surprised myself by hoping they would reconcile.   
  
==========  
  
Next: Remus Lupin


	3. Remus Lupin

Dust Will be the Serpent's Food, Chapter 3 - Remus Lupin   
By: PepperjackCandy  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: Everyone, and everything, in this story, belongs to J.K. Rowling. 

Warning: Slash ahead!  
  
A/N: This was going on towards 4,000 words, so I broke it into two separate chapters. Here's the first half.  
  
==========  
  
I suppose I should start at the beginning, but I'm sure you've heard all that before - Hogwarts Express, Sorting Hat, Welcoming Banquet, Potions Class.  
  
Ah, yes. Potions Class. This is where it gets interesting.  
  
In fifth year, we were required to write a term paper. The topic was to be the inventor of a potion, the evolution of a potion, or theories behind a potion that we feel would contribute something to the wizarding community.  
  
I made the natural choice -- wolfsbane and its potential use controlling werewolves.  
  
Soon, however, I discovered that I was far, far over my head. I approached the Potions Master, Professor Erlenmeyer, for help.  
  
"Professor," I asked after class. "I think I need to choose a different topic."  
  
The professor glanced down at the scroll that contained our topics. "Ah. I see. Found your topic more than you could handle?"  
  
"Yes, sir."  
  
"Well, I've already refused to allow Crabbe and Nott to change their topics, so I'm afraid that I can't allow you a privilege I haven't allowed them."  
  
"I understand sir."  
  
"But, Lupin, if you'd take my advice."  
  
"Yes, sir?"  
  
"Get some assistance with your paper. That is perfectly acceptable. You've chosen a fascinating topic. I'm sure that if asked politely, Snape would be willing to help you."  
  
My heart dropped. "Snape?"  
  
Erlenmeyer nodded. "He's the best Potions student in the school. And being in your year, he should be more approachable than an older student, as well.  
  
"He might even be interested enough in your topic to help even if you don't ask him politely."  
  
"Yes, sir. Thank you, sir." I heaved a heavy sigh and left the room.  
  
I thought about taking the failing mark, but Potions was not my best subject, and I needed as much help as I could get. So, when I ran into Severus in the library later that day, I approached him.  
  
"Snape?" I asked softly.   
  
He looked up. "Lupin." He said shortly.  
  
"May I sit down?"  
  
"It's a free country." He nodded at the chair next to him.  
  
"I . . . I was wondering . . . if I could . . . ." I licked my lips and started again. "Could you please give me some help on my Potions project? I'm going to fail unless I get some help with it."  
  
Severus's jaw dropped, and he closed his mouth with an audible snap. I braced myself for him to turn me down. "Well, since you asked so politely, how can I refuse?"  
  
This time, my jaw fell. "You mean it?"  
  
Severus nodded. "I never say anything I don't mean." He said clearly. "So, what do you need help with?"  
  
"Everything." I sighed as I pulled out the ream of notes I'd already put together and handed it to him.  
  
He paged through them, then looked at me, one eyebrow lifted inquiringly. "Wolfsbane?" He asked. "What interest do *you* have in wolfsbane?"  
  
I'd prepared a lie for the occasion. A half-truth, actually. "My cousin. He's a werewolf. And from knowing him, I know that most werewolves are contributing members of society most of the time, and would like to do what I can to make that *all* of the time."  
  
"Interesting." He said. "For an idea this intriguing, I might have said yes even if you hadn't asked politely."  
  
I chose not to tell him that was what Erlenmeyer had said when he recommended that I ask Severus for help.  
  
Severus glanced through my notes, quickly pointing out some errors I'd made in my research, such as forgetting that belladonna is highly regulated ("And anyway, we don't want to create flying werewolves, Lupin," he said wryly), and suggested some new avenues to try.   
  
"Would you mind," I asked, certain he'd refuse, "if I brought this back to you after I do some more work on it?"  
  
Severus shrugged. "It's all the same to me." He said in a carefully offhand manner.  
  
Somehow, I knew that it wasn't. He was pleased that I'd asked him to help me. But it wasn't until later that I found out why.  
  
Several days later, we were back in the library, and Severus was leafing through my notes.  
  
"But why?" I demanded, resting my head heavily on the table in front of us. "That doesn't make any sense!"  
  
"Oh. Saffron would impart a lovely yellow color, all right. And it would turn it into a love potion. That's the last thing we need. Lovesick werewolves."   
Ah. _Lovesick werewolves._ How prophetic those words would be.  
  
Finally he sighed and stood. "We're not getting anywhere."  
  
I thought for a moment that he was going to leave, but he looked down at me instead. "Let's go for a walk."  
  
My jaw dropped. "Are you sure?" I asked. "I mean, I'm a Gryffindor, you're a Slytherin . . ."  
  
"Explain to me why you think that the differences in our houses means that we cannot take a walk together. Particularly since it doesn't mean that you cannot take advantage of my knowledge to improve your grade in Potions."  
  
I stood as well. "All right. Since you're so insistent." I said, though I really didn't feel at all reluctant to walk with him.  
  
We walked for half an hour, out to the Quidditch pitch, where the Hufflepuff team was practicing, and back.  
  
We talked of nothing in particular -- the weather, the next Hogsmeade weekend -- and returned to the library feeling refreshed. We got back to work, but somehow something between us had changed. It was almost like we'd become friends.  
  
We continued meeting, working on my Potions paper. He got a pass from Erlenmeyer and we started poring over the books in the Restricted section, looking for references to wolfsbane and lycanthropy.   
  
We took study breaks, walking around the campus together, sometimes talking animatedly, sometimes enjoying a companionable silence.  
  
Suddenly, the day came. My paper was finished. We'd have to go back to being Gryffindor and Slytherin, traditional enemies.  
  
Or would we?  
  
"You see," Severus began, almost shyly, like he expected me to refuse, "I'm not doing so well in Defense Against the Dark Arts. And since you're one of the best in that class . . ."  
  
I nodded. I wasn't sure if he genuinely needed my help, or if this was just an excuse, but I was so happy that I wouldn't have to end my budding friendship with Severus that I didn't question it.  
  
Our meetings became more frequent, eventually becoming daily. I only missed one day during that time - the day after the full moon. I never had much energy for anything that day. But I made suitable excuses, and Severus didn't realize that my absence had any importance other than that I'd been incredibly busy.   
  
Everything between us changed once again the day Erlenmeyer handed back our the papers. My marks were merely adequate, but that was thrilling, as I'd fully expected to fail, but more thrilling was his note that, just perhaps, Severus and I were on to something.  
  
We met, as usual, in the library to talk about Defense Against the Dark Arts. I brought my paper along to show Severus.   
  
He nodded and smiled at me shyly. "We really might be onto something here, mightn't we?" He asked.   
  
Somehow, I realized he was talking about more than wolfsbane theories. "Yes, I think so." I responded with a slightly bolder smile.  
  
We took our usual study break slightly earlier than usual. Severus and I walked past the kitchens and he persuaded the house elves to part with some chocolate meringue pie - my favorite. We walked together to the top of the astronomy tower and sat there in silence while we ate.  
  
And then, as the waning crescent moon rose in the sky over our heads, Severus Snape kissed me for the first time.  
  
It was tentative at first, but as we both relaxed into the kiss, it grew bolder and more intimate.  
  
Soon, I was lying on my back with Severus above me. His hands tangled in my curly brown hair as we drank of each other's mouths.  
  
Finally, we needed to come up for air. And get back to work. So, reluctantly, we walked back down to the library.  
  
We continued our work in companionable silence, and when it was time to go, we walked back down to the ground floor together. "I want to apologize for . . ." Severus began.  
  
My heart dropped into the region of my intestines. "Apologize?"   
  
I guess my disappointment showed on my face, "You're all right with it, then?"  
  
I nodded, feeling myself blush. "More than all right."  
  
"Oh." Severus gave a relieved sigh. "That's that, then." With those words, he leaned forward, pecking me lightly on the lips, and leaned away again. "Well, good night, Remus." The corners of his mouth turned up in a smile.  
  
"Good night, Severus." I could feel myself grinning back.  
  
Severus walked away, but I couldn't let him go. Not just yet. "Sev!" I called to him.  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"Same time tomorrow, right?"  
  
Severus nodded, wordlessly.  
  
We continued meeting to work on Severus's Defense Against the Dark Arts work over the next two weeks. Our 'study breaks' moved later and later in our study sessions. We never discussed why, but I knew that, for me, there was something indescribably wonderful about going back to the Gryffindor tower with the taste of Severus still fresh on my lips. And I hoped it was the same for him.  
  
Unfortunately, the habit of putting off our snog sessions until the end of our study sessions was our undoing. It never occurred to me that when I returned to the Gryffindor tower, I looked like I'd been kissing.  
  
And it did, and Sirius got curious, and found out that Severus and I were doing more than studying.  
  
Which brings me to the night before the full moon. It was getting dark, and I wanted to be sure I was asleep before moonrise, as I did every night before a full moon. I'd left Severus, promising that we'd meet the next morning, but that meeting never happened.   
  
The next time we saw each other . . .  
  
But I'm getting ahead of myself.  
  
I woke up in the hospital wing the morning of that fateful full moon. Poppy Pomfrey was hovering over my bed, clucking something about being more careful.   
  
It hurt to move. It hurt to breathe. It hurt to blink.  
  
"What?" I managed to croak out.  
  
"He's awake. Thank God." Sirius came into view, then. "You all right, Moony?"  
  
"Yeah. I think. What . . .?" I tried to sit up, but couldn't find the strength. I flopped back onto the bed.  
  
"You'll be sore for a couple of hours, Remus." Poppy said looking at me concernedly. "You really did yourself a lot of damage."  
  
"Did myself . . .?" I looked down, then, and saw that my chest and arms were laced with scratches. "I did that to myself?"  
  
Sirius, the very soul of concern, said, "You were like a man possessed last night, Moony. What happened?"  
  
"I took my sleeping draught and went to bed. That's the last thing I remember."  
  
"You don't remember getting out of bed?" Poppy asked.  
  
I shook my head.   
  
"Trying to open the door of your room?"  
  
"No."  
  
"How about going to the window?"  
  
I was starting to get frightened, and looked to Sirius for support.   
  
"All right," Poppy said soothingly. "There's no use worrying about it unless it continues."  
  
"Could it be related to. . . you know?" I asked.  
  
Poppy made an apologetic face. "I'm sorry, Remus. But lycanthropy is a very poorly-understood condition. I guess we'll just have to wait until tomorrow night to see what happens then."  
  
I spent the rest of the day up in my room while my cuts and scratches heal. I went in and out of consciousness, wishing I could find Severus. _Severus will make it better,_ I promised myself as I fell asleep for the last time.  
  
I was awakened by James shaking my shoulder gently. "Moony, you up?" He asked.  
  
I struggled awake. "Yeah."  
  
"Time to go."  
  
By then, the cuts and scratches were almost healed, but James walked me out to the Whomping Willow anyway, just in case.  
  
I touched the knot and headed for the tunnel, as I'd done so many times before.  
  
Most of the nights of my transformation, I don't really remember anything about that night. Usually, all I remember is the pain of the transformation and then it's suddenly the next morning.  
  
This night was different. Because my Mate came to the house.  
  
_Thank Selene! My Mate._ And that thought was accompanied by a rush of happiness greater than anything I'd ever experienced before.  
  
Then the happiness stopped and was followed by a wretched loneliness.  
  
And that's all I really remember of that night. After the moon set, I awoke to find James there, waiting with me.   
  
We began the trek back to the castle in silence. I was desperate to ask what had happened. Why I remembered being visited by my Mate, but I couldn't figure out where to begin.  
  
We walked into the castle, and found ourselves face-to-face with Severus. "You . . . monster!" He yelled at me. "How many innocents have you killed, with your friends procuring fresh meat   
for you?"  
  
I didn't understand what he was talking about. "What? Sev? What happened last night?" I begged him.  
  
He responded, a coldness that I'd never seen before in his black eyes. "Like you don't know. Monster."  
  
He turned to walk away, and I felt my heart wrench out of my chest and go with him.  
  
"**SEVERUS!!**" I howled in agony as I fell to the ground in a fetal position.  
  
As I lay there, crying, I realized what had happened. Severus was my Mate. He'd been there, in the shack, and seen me as I truly was. What he'd seen had horrified him. And I was shattered.  
  
Sirius and James finally had to carry me back to our room, where I lay on my bed, weeping, the curtains pulled shut around me.   
  
The next weekend was a Hogsmeade weekend, and Severus and I had planned to ditch our friends and spend the day together. And now he'd never even want to look at me again.  
  
Somehow, I pulled myself together enough to get through the rest of fifth year, and sixth, and seventh, just going through the motions. I watched Severus as he was drawn deeper and deeper into Lucius Malfoy's social circle. Wishing I could do something -- anything -- to stop his descent.  
  
Sirius tried to convince me that he saved me from something. But I knew the truth. He hadn't saved me. He'd damned Severus.   
  
==========  
  
Next: Still more of Remus's recollections! 


	4. Remus Lupin, Part II (Conclusion)

Dust Will be the Serpent's Food, Chapter 4 - Remus Lupin, Part II  
By: PepperjackCandy  
Rating: PG13  
Disclaimer: Everyone, and everything, in this story, belongs to J.K. Rowling.   
  
Warning: Slash ahead!  
  
==========  
  
After graduation, my Defense Against the Dark Arts grades, as well as my extra-curricular tutoring of Severus, allowed me to take a job as an Auror. My partners and I brought down innumerable Death Eaters together. And through it all, I kept my preternaturally-keen ears open for mention of Severus. I felt in my bones that I'd *know* if something happened to him, but the lack of news of his death or arrest was still reassuring.  
  
The next time our paths crossed was nineteen years after that fateful night in the Shrieking Shack, when Albus Dumbledore hired me to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher at Hogwarts.   
  
I took the position, hoping that something would intervene to take Severus far, far away. Something good, something wonderful. For as much as I'd like to have been able to wish harm on him for the hurt he caused me, he was still my Mate, and I couldn't.  
  
We avoided each other fairly successfully for nearly a full month. But September 30 was a full moon, and Severus had a wolfsbane potion that would allow me to stay on-campus during the full moon.  
  
That night was the only time all year that Severus addressed our history. And for a moment, that hole in my heart was filled.  
  
"You know." He said as he set the potion down in front of me. "The only reason I have this potion is because of you."  
  
I snorted humorlessly. "That stands to reason." The potion had a biting, bitter taste, and I was only able to drink a little bit of it at a time.  
  
"No. I invented it because of you. It's based on our research."   
  
I winced as I took another draught. "Don't suppose you could do anything about the taste. I seem to remember we were discussing almond oil?"  
  
"There is almond oil in there, Lupin. If it weren't a full moon, you'd be able to taste it. It's actually got a very pleasant taste to someone who isn't . . . ." I could hear the unspoken words _a monster_.  
  
But then Severus shut down again, and we stayed estranged for the rest of our year as co-workers.  
  
After He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was resurrected, Albus called me back to Hogwarts for a meeting.   
  
Severus stayed hidden in his dungeon for the first few days, but then he came up to the Great Hall during breakfast. He walked into the room, not meeting anyone's eyes, and hurried up to the dais, where he grabbed a handful of fruit and cheese, and walked out of the room.  
  
But seeing him again did something to me. I found I couldn't live like this anymore. I had to act. Now.  
  
I stood from my place at the table, and followed Severus out into the corridor. It wasn't difficult to catch up to him, for he was walking slowly, almost like he hoped someone would catch up to him. Almost like he hoped *I* would catch up to him.  
  
I placed a hand lightly on his shoulder. A ripple of electricity shot up my arm and into my wounded heart at that meager contact.  
  
"Sev?" I asked softly. "Can we talk?"  
  
"It's a free country." He said, echoing the words he'd said to me so long ago, as he turned to face me.   
  
I looked into those black eyes. Eyes I could drown in. And I said, "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry, Severus."  
  
Confusion graced his features. "Sorry? What do you have to be sorry for?"  
  
"For not telling you about . . . ."  
  
"Yes. Well," he broke eye contact with me, looking at the floor beneath his feet. "I'm sorry, too."  
  
"Sorry for what? I'm the one who wronged you, remember."  
  
He shook his head and looked up at me. "For not trusting you. For not loving you enough."  
  
"You loved me?" I'd hoped, but I'd never really believed it before.  
  
"Yes. I . . . loved you." He emphasized the past tense, but looked like he wanted to say something different.  
  
"I love -d you, too." I almost forgot to put it in past tense.  
  
We stood there, looking at each other. "There's no way to go back," I said.  
  
"We'll have to go forward, then." He completed my thought.  
  
I was seized by a wild impulse then. "Sev?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"For old time's sake." I put my left hand on his shoulder and my right hand on the back of his head and pulled him to me for a kiss.   
  
A kiss that changed everything.  
  
He moaned as his arms wrapped around my waist and he pulled me closer to him. I felt that piece of my heart, the piece that I'd been without for twenty years, click back into place as if it had never gone.  
  
And I heard the wolf growl low inside me, "My Mate. Mine."  
  
I pulled away from him. "Sev. I have to know. You're not just playing with me. You won't leave at the first sign of trouble."  
  
"How could you think --? Never mind. I know how you could think that of me. But I won't. I promise."   
  
We moved in, then, for another kiss.   
  
And then it was his turn to pull away. "But this time I have something to say. My own secret, if you will." He reached down to his left sleeve to pull it back and reveal the Mark on his arm.  
  
I placed my hand over his. "I know about that." I told him simply, pulling up the sleeve and kissing his blighted flesh.  
  
When I looked at his face, tears were streaming down his cheeks. "You're a good man, Remus. So much better than I am. . ."  
  
I knew what he was getting at. He felt that my acceptance of his shortcomings had come to me more easily than his acceptance of mine. I smiled. "No. We were only fifteen, Sev. We're grown now. I'm no better than you. Just older."  
  
Then we moved, no, not to his room. Get your minds out of the gutter, people.   
  
We moved to sit on the steps leading down to the dungeons. "Anyway, if we're going to go forward with this, I've got a confession of my own."  
  
Severus reached out and took my hand in his. "Whatever it is, we can handle it."  
  
"I only hope so." I sighed.  
  
"That bad?"  
  
"Maybe."  
  
He gave me a minute to collect my thoughts.  
  
"What do you know about werewolves?" I asked.  
  
"Not much other than that they're blood . . ." He stopped.  
  
"Blood-thirsty killers?" I asked with what I hoped was the right amount of humor in my tone. "Well, that's certainly true of some, but there's only one immutable law of werewolves, Severus. We mate for life."  
  
His face fell. "Oh."  
  
_He doesn't want this. He wants to know that he'll be able to get out if it he wants to,_ the voice of self-doubt chanted in the back of my mind, but I squashed it down long enough to say, "Yes."   
  
"So." Was that sorrow I saw in his eyes? Was he that reluctant to bind himself to me for the rest of our lives?  
  
"So."  
  
We sat in silence for a minute, and then I stood. "Just thought you should know." Feeling tears stinging the corners of my eyes, I headed for the front door of the castle.  
  
_Where am I going?_ I asked myself. _Away._ I answered. _Maybe all the way to Hogsmeade, if I need to, and then I can get nice and pissed at the Three Broomsticks._  
  
I reached the bottom of the steps and started out on the path towards the gates when I felt a hand on my shoulder.  
  
"At least have the common decency to tell me who it is, Remus." Severus said in an intense whisper.  
  
"Who what is?"  
  
"Who you can't get out of your heart. Who I'll be sharing you with." He grimaced. "It's Black, isn't it?"  
  
I felt all of the blood in my body run down to my feet. "What?"  
  
"Your Mate. It's Black."  
  
I shook my head dumbly, suddenly unable to say more than, "No."  
  
"Oh. Who, then?"  
  
"You."  
  
He acted like he couldn't understand me. "What?"  
  
"You, Sev. You're my Mate. You always have been."  
  
"But we've never . . . I thought that . . ."  
  
I shook my head. "No. Consummation isn't required. I wish it had been. My life these past twenty years would have been much more peaceful."  
  
"But, you tried to kill me. Isn't that sort of counterproductive? To try to kill your Mate?"  
  
The tears that had threatened earlier spilled down my cheeks. "You idiot," I whispered. "I didn't try to kill you. I was going to greet you."  
  
"Greet me?"   
  
He looked confused, so I demonstrated, stepping towards him and nuzzling his neck. "Like this." I inhaled the aroma that said _Severus Snape._ "And this."  
  
"Oh." He said weakly. I had my hands on his arms beneath the sleeves of his robe and could feel goose-pimples rising on his skin.  
  
"But since we're both human right now," I said, and I closed my eyes and kissed him with all of the love and passion I felt for him.  
  
"I suppose we should go forward from here, then." Severus said, taking my hand.  
  
"I suppose we should."  
  
We walked into the castle, and Severus directed me towards the dungeon stairs.   
  
"Oh, no you don't." I said.  
  
"No?" He sounded infinitely disappointed.  
  
"No. I've waited twenty years for this, and I'm not going to consummate our relationship in the faculty residences here. I've lived in one of those shoeboxes, remember. Have you ever seen the guest facilities?"   
  
"I've never had occasion to."  
  
I steered him towards the stairwell leading up to my rooms. "Then you're in for a very pleasant surprise." We stopped and kissed.  
  
"Though," I said once we separated again, "first thing, we're going to wash all of this . . .stuff out of your hair."  
  
"But my hair's unmanageable without it." He whined.  
  
I sighed melodramatically. "I guess a Mate with unmanageable hair is one of those sacrifices I'm going to have to make . . ."


End file.
